Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
