i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
