I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
