I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
