but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
