How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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