"it" just moved
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
