Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
