btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
