The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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