THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
