i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
