Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
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