Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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