oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
