Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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