is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
