why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Randomize
