I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
