I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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