He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
