I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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