He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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