Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
