you have to choose: penises or morals?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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