why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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