i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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