two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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