why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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