We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
