how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
we're making bets on your personal life
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
