Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Sober January is a disaster.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
