No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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