you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Randomize
