It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
