sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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