Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
