He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
