Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
