i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
