its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Randomize
