I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
