and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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