i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
