He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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