seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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