DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
