I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
