it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
