no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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